Parky Pies

myths about parkinsons diseaseI’ve come across a lot of urban parkinson’s myths. So many in fact that I made up a name for them – parky pies. The first parky pie I had the pleasure of sinking my teeth into, was “that people with depression get parkinson’s more often than those who are not depressed”. And there was me thinking that once was enough. This particular parky pie is actually correct, although it is quite easy to misinterpret. Another commonly consumed parky pie is that “only old men in grey cardigans get parkinson’s”. And they only get tremors, nothing else”.

Creatives won’t get Parkinson’s

Yesterday yet another media baked parky pie flew across the internet. This one was based on extensive research by the renowned RUMC and claimed: “Male bookkeepers who enjoy creative pursuits in their 50s are less likely to get parkinson’s.” I have 2 things to say about this: 1. Dear journalists, attend a few epidemiology lectures, in order to gain a better understanding of scientific research. And 2: bookkeepers seem creative enough to me as it is, otherwise how else could they tie up all those impossible loose ends?

Another tasty pie

Another generously filled parky pie is ”that you can still achieve so much, even with parkinson’s”. I must admit, I quite like this parky pie myself, it’s close to my heart. And it’s sort of true, but also sort of not true. At all. The thing is, I can’t quite do everything anymore. Incidentally, neither can you, dear reader, but that’s by the by. I can no longer write by hand for example. Which kind of sucks. I can still type though, which is great, but I cannot pretend that I don’t have parkinson’s; that would be like serving up my own enormous parky pie.

Eat horse beans. Lots.

Then there are certain parky pies that surpass all others, such as: “If you munch your way through 30 kilos of horse beans every day, you’ll obtain enough natural dopa to get yourself well and truly going again… in a manner of speaking.” The horse bean pie is not incorrect, but again, you need the full picture to make sense of it.

An often baked parky pie is the one about dealing with parkinson’s. “You must think positive and loving thoughts as it will reduce symptoms, which in turn greatly improves your quality of life.” Helpful, but terribly frustrating at the same time.

Let it go Pie

A more complicated parky pie is the one that tells you to let it all go, just let it all go. Or wait, hold on, sorry, I mean: you’ve got to learn to accept it. Wait a minute. Letting go vs accepting? We’ve got a contradictory parky pie on our hands here. What am I supposed to do, let go, accept, or both or in sequence? Certainly requires some chewing over.

I’m curious about which parky pies you’ve come across. Please let me know, especially if it’s an optimistic one – I’m particularly partial to those.

Thank you Lesley Gunn for helping me bake these parky pies in English.