Ah I know some with Parkinson's....

Sanitary Block

cropped-Standaard-e1456131209441.gifYou should try calculating just how much water your family flushes down the drain. Per day. Often warm water too. Gallons and gallons. I mean, do you have any idea what your annual water consumption is? I do, but my lips are sealed. Then, of course, you’ve got to clean your shower. With water. That takes some time, I can tell you! The act of showering itself also costs a considerable amount of time. A quick break-down: you gather some clothes, search for a dry towel, go back for clean underwear, undress, shower, ahhh – nice and warm – take a moment to unwind, apply a little shampoo, conditioner – mmmm lovely – oh yeah, have a wash and then verrrrry briefly rinse yourself. Afterwards you dry yourself off, slap on some moisturiser (not me, it’s not my thing), get dressed, remove your makeup (nope, doesn’t apply to me either) and then brush your teeth. By the time everyone’s had their evening shower, you’re easily two hours down. (more…)

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stripyaddict

What will you be craving in your tent, camper van, holiday cottage or hotel room this summer? Are you addicted to anything and everything like me, or are you totally at Zen with yourself. A StripyZenny, so to speak? Let me guess what your Stripyddictions are! • Your own bed – I get it • Your own toilet – I get that too • Your own kitchen table – you’ll manage without it • Your own kitchen and kitchen utensils – true, but you’ll soon get used to that eeny meeny kitchen with its weird spoons and strange plastic egg cups…

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Fitting Room SatNav

Ohhhh! Did you hear about Verstappen? Great man, but this last race, I don’t know. Did you know he lives in the same apartment block as erm, what’s his name? Strange state of affairs that, if you ask me. Could swear my hay fever is getting worse every year… but know what I love about shopping? Going for a meal. Don’t you? But where’s the wife, she just can’t seem to get enough of it. – The two friends were saying to each other, patiently waiting on on a bench outside a shop.

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The stress of spring

If there’s one thing I find stressful, it’s spring. Especially when it’s nice weather. You can’t simply slob out in front of the telly, knock out a new column, read a book, or tidy out that cupboard you’ve been meaning to. No way, not in this weather. Totally Out of the Question. If you’re still in bed at 8am at the weekend in this weather, you already feel it coming. Spring stress.

 

 

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StripeyDressy is going into the tattoo business

Everyone under the age of 30 has known about it for years, but I had to hear it from the BBC. In fact, I only believe something if the BBC says it. I’m now pleased to be able to share my discovery with the rest of you over 30’s. It’s about a whole new line of work for copywriters, body of work actually.

 

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