I want a young wife

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I also want a younger woman. Not that I’ve had enough of my husband. On the contrary, he’s the best.

But I often hear something along the lines of:

My first wife didn’t really like that I was so active / youthful / entrepreneurial. You sort of grow apart from each other, don’t you? Personally, I’m extremely young in spirit and, just between you and me, in body too, if you know what I mean, hahaha! And adventurous, I’m extremely adventurous. Actually, I knew right from the start, I mean, she’s very sweet and everything, and great with the kids, but yeah, a real couch potato, mad about Countdown, you know the type. Always wanted to go to the same camp site every year. In fact, come to mention it, that’s where it happened. Spotted a young bit of skirt walking around. Unbelievably fit. A real bit of alright! She was bored silly in the Ardeche, I could tell. Even though she was with her friends, I spotted it immediately: now, there’s a young bird who needs a man with experience, I thought to myself. Things moved quickly after that. Of course, it was hard for my countdown-wife and countdown-children to swallow, but ultimately they understood. I’m 60 now, son of 12 with my young dressy, living the dream. Football every Saturday. It keeps you young, you know, a woman like that in her prime.

I also want to stay young. Which is why I’m now looking for a young woman on the side. She can make a start on the laundry, before cleaning the house from top to bottom and then taking the paper to the recycle bin. In the meantime, I’ll just plonk myself leisurely down on the sofa and snuggle up next to my dreadful old man of my own age.