Ah I know some with Parkinson's too...

Fitting Room SatNav

Ohhhh! Did you hear about Verstappen? Great man, but this last race, I don’t know. Did you know he lives in the same apartment block as erm, what’s his name? Strange state of affairs that, if you ask me. Could swear my hay fever is getting worse every year… but know what I love about shopping? Going for a meal. Don’t you? But where’s the wife, she just can’t seem to get enough of it. – The two friends were saying to each other, patiently waiting on on a bench outside a shop.

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The stress of spring

If there’s one thing I find stressful, it’s spring. Especially when it’s nice weather. You can’t simply slob out in front of the telly, knock out a new column, read a book, or tidy out that cupboard you’ve been meaning to. No way, not in this weather. Totally Out of the Question. If you’re still in bed at 8am at the weekend in this weather, you already feel it coming. Spring stress.

 

 

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StripeyDressy is going into the tattoo business

Everyone under the age of 30 has known about it for years, but I had to hear it from the BBC. In fact, I only believe something if the BBC says it. I’m now pleased to be able to share my discovery with the rest of you over 30’s. It’s about a whole new line of work for copywriters, body of work actually.

 

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StripeyDressy never had a baby in a tree.

Did I tell you about this lady who had a baby in a tree? Goodness me! I’ve got such terrible pack pain. Oh yeah, I suffer from that too. But in my case it’s a suspected double hernia. Nothing they can do for it. At least you can still walk, I see. I feel awful. Such a bad head! Must be that hay fever again. Oh yeah, I know someone with that. They can’t step foot out of the house these days, not unless they’re wearing a sort of space suit. Now that is bad. Have you any idea just how much homework and exams I’ve got this week? Oh yeah? Well I heard that there were no school holidays in the UK at all any more. You have to study all year round. Without any grant by the way. And you think you’ve got it bad! Do you realise…

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Did you pack the blood plasma, darling?

One thing’s for sure: next year we’ll only be taking half the amount of stuff. And, I’ll buy 5 bags (not too big, mind) so that everyone has somewhere to put their own things. Plus 1 bag for On-The-Road-Refreshments and 1 bag for the Unexpected. Okay, and 1 bag for chargers too.

 

 

 

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CuddleDressy

The word alone – cuddle. Definitely an onomatopoeia (what a word that is too btw), a word that sounds like what it means. Cuddle. Or ‘hug’. No, give me a cuddle any day. My indispensable etymological dictionary says that the verb ‘to cuddle’ in Dutch (knuffel) can be traced back to ‘doing something in a clumsy manner’. Makes sense. We’ve all experienced those clumsy cuddles from time to time.   (more…)

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Happy on your tod

On your tod. Love that. When no-one else can see you, or at least you think that no-one else can see you. Lots of things are best experienced on your own. (more…)

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4 copypaws on the ground

Imagine you’re a copywriter and you’re polishing someone’s text. Could be anyone. The CEO of a large multinational, a student who’s written a brilliant piece of research but has difficulty with ‘i before e, except after c’, a senior manager who needs to prepare a communication plan for an important presentation, or a small business owner who has better things to do with his time (quite frankly) than devise clever web content. Essentially anyone who struggles to find the right words, creates rambling, mile-long sentences containing 6 subordinate clauses, has absolutely no clue about structure, or compiles doorstop sales brochures that send customers to sleep. Even broadsheet editors who can’t control their compulsion to embellish every second sentence with a metaphor - we copywriters help them all. From CEO to primary school headmaster, to the student who daren’t submit his thesis. I related this around the kitchen table one evening. And…

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Dreaming of 100 six-packs in a room

A while ago I revealed my 5 simple steps on how to become a World Champion. I also explained why I think this is out of reach for most women. It’s not that we’re not ambitious, but rather that we tend to get distracted by the 1001 other things we want to accomplish. (more…)

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StripySpringDress

tips voor succesIf there’s one thing I find stressful, it’s spring. Especially when it’s nice weather. You can’t simply slob out in front of the telly, knock out a new column, read a book, or tidy out that cupboard you’ve been meaning to. No way, not in this weather. Totally Out of the Question. If you’re still in bed at 8am at the weekend in this weather, you already feel it coming. Spring stress. (more…)

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I want a young wife

I also want a younger woman. Not that I’ve had enough of my husband. On the contrary, he’s the best. But I often hear something along the lines of: My first wife didn’t really like that I was so active / youthful / entrepreneurial. You sort of grow apart from each other, don’t you? Personally, I’m extremely young in spirit and, just between you and me, in body too, if you know what I mean, hahaha! And adventurous, I’m extremely adventurous. Actually, I knew right from the start, I mean, she’s very sweet and everything, and great with the kids, but yeah, a real couch potato, mad about Countdown, you know the type. Always wanted to go to the same camp site every year. In fact, come to mention it, that’s where it happened. Spotted a young bit of skirt walking around. Unbelievably fit. A real bit of alright! She…

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This blog is going to cost you

Wim Rozenberg

My columns often make readers smile. Which used be the reason I wrote them in the first place. Until recently. I’ll explain. A while ago I read an article on BBC on comedians. I believe everything the BBC says, because I love their Week in Pictures. (more…)

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