Happy on your tod

On your tod. Love that. When no-one else can see you, or at least you think that no-one else can see you. Lots of things are best experienced on your own.

Knocking up a StripeyDressy for instance, can only be achieved when no-one else is looking. Background chatter I can cope with. Someone constantly looking over my shoulder? No way! Another perfect example is when you’re lying in bed at night, mulling over all of the things that you’d love to have said, but couldn’t. Almost the same happy-on-my-own pleasure as devouring an entire bar of chocolate immediately before dinner.

Not so happy on your tod

But being on your tod can be seriously scary too. Take an MRI scan – not only are you utterly and miserably on your tod; you’re also completely dressy free. And, all that loud music doesn’t really help.

Just one thing

You give birth on your own. Thank goodness! Because imagine if your husband were to join in? All that puffing and pushing. You can just picture it: you fighting and sighing, screaming in pain even when you don’t have any but you tend to get carried away and a father who’s either absolutely terrified or fancies a beer, or worse, the nurse (and preferably that 21-year-old blonde). His idea of support involves flopping theatrically down on his belly, and then moaning and begging for pain relief. And when the baby’s finally born, naturally it’s all down to him. He’s an instant CCO (Chief Childbirth Officer). Nope, I don’t think so. Childbirth is definitely something best endured on your tod.

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