Dreaming of 100 six-packs in a room

A while ago I revealed my 5 simple steps on how to become a World Champion. I also explained why I think this is out of reach for most women. It’s not that we’re not ambitious, but rather that we tend to get distracted by the 1001 other things we want to accomplish.

My multi-life

To give you an example, here’s a morning in the life of StripeyDressy: I get up, wake the kids, look out their PE kits, shower and dress, load or empty the washing machine, hang the washing, set the breakfast table (children need a decent breakfast), suddenly remember we’ve got a client visit at the office, so make a mental note to put my face on and leave a little earlier than usual (someone has to set up the projector), but first I really must take the waste paper to the recycle bin, fill out that school form, ah the printer’s not working again, and I need to squeeze in fifteen minutes of exercise, oh, have the kids got their school bags, wait, don’t forget that birthday card, and did I close the bathroom window, right, quick look at fb – hm, I’m clearly the only one who’s running around like a maniac.

At 08:00u am ready for bed

And all that before 8.00 am. At which point my husband (and business partner) emerges from upstairs and asks: so, what are your plans for today? (Hello! I’ve already been up and at it for hours!) Followed by: have you finished the copy for our new website yet? Yikes! You jump on your bike, whoosh, straight to the office and slump down breathlessly at your desk. Okey dokey. Let’s see if there’s anything interesting in the news today. Yep, apparently one of our top athletes, Daphne Schippers, has declined an invitation from the King. Way to go, Daphne! You’ve decided to put your training first. Focus focus focus. No juggling breakfast, school bags and projectors for you! You concentrate on 1 thing and 1 thing only. Now, that’s how you become World Champion. Do 1 thing and do it well. Of course, we all know that men find this a lot easier than us women, who drive ourselves to distraction with our multi-tasking. But what can you do when you insist on cramming so much into 1 day?

So what do women do to unwind?

Yoga. Which is good, very good. Because at yoga you’re only allowed to do 1 thing at a time. Compulsory Single-Tasking. Now that is stressful, I can tell you! Lying down on that mat in a room, and just breathing! You don’t have to do anything except perform an occasional sun salutation (why???) and twist your limbs into impossible positions. And breathe, of course, you have to keep breathing. Nothing else. Single Tasking at its finest. I breathe for all I’m worth. But I fail miserably and am completely convinced: I’m just no good at single-tasking. With which I immediately give up on my dreams of ever becoming world champion – world champion what exactly, I can’t quite say, because I’ve never been able to make my mind up.

Yoga benefits from stressed women

And the yoga industry knows this. Getting 15 women to lie down on a mat in a room, and then telling them to breathe in and out, in and out, in and out and… to let it all go, just let it all go. In and out, that’s it, concentrate on your breathing. You could even argue that the yoga industry is profiting from women, but I calmly breathe such cynical thoughts away.

My dream

Know what? I’m going go and read that book I’ve been meaning to get around to, can easily do it while I’m on the treadmill, and I’ll quickly sms my friend and make a list for the web builder, so he can crack on with the new site tomorrow, but first I’d better tuck the kids in. By which time it’s approaching 11.00 pm. Stick some laundry in the washing machine, catch up on a few household chores while I’m at it, attempt half a page of that book zzzzzz and before I know it I’m in the land of nod, having sweet dreams of being world champion. World yoga champion. With 100 six-packs in a room, all hanging on my every word. Come on boys, wrap your legs around your neck, good, well done, we’re now going to try the rabbit (I kid you not!) zzzzz breathe in, breathe out zzzzz ….

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