StripeyDressy never had a baby in a tree.

Did I tell you about this lady who had a baby in a tree?
Goodness me! I’ve got such terrible pack pain.
Oh yeah, I suffer from that too. But in my case it’s a suspected double hernia. Nothing they can do for it. At least you can still walk, I see.
I feel awful. Such a bad head! Must be that hay fever again.
Oh yeah, I know someone with that. They can’t step foot out of the house these days, not unless they’re wearing a sort of space suit. Now that is bad.
Have you any idea just how much homework and exams I’ve got this week?
Oh yeah? Well I heard that there were no school holidays in the UK at all any more. You have to study all year round. Without any grant by the way. And you think you’ve got it bad!
Do you realise that I spend around 30% of my time stuck in traffic jams?
Oh yeah? Is that all? I’m sometimes at a complete standstill from 07.00 to 11.00 am. Might as well turn back home.
Do you know how hard I have to slog, running my own business and everything? And all the while trying to cope with that disease?
Oh yeah, dreadful! Did you hear about this lady who had a baby in a tree? Well, there was a flash flood and this woman couldn’t run away because she was just about to give birth and was already having contractions. In desperation she climbed a tree and gave birth to that baby right there and then, high up among the branches. She was only rescued after surviving 18 hours in the pouring rain. Luckily both survived. Sorry, what was it that was troubling you again? Your job or something? Well, get over it. Remember the lady who had a baby in a tree.

StripeyDressy can say a lot of things, but she never had a baby in a tree.

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