I need new tools

Fotografie Wim RozenbergYou’re so used to be able to do everything and anything. Got tools for just about everything. Especially those automated jobs, like walking or smiling. Or shrugging your shoulders. Or getting up fast to go and do something even faster. Or answer a question really quickly. Tap your fingers just for fun or out of impatience.

Now that is weird! My tools, where did I put them? I really need them, you know. Especially when multi-tasking. Talking, cycling and remembering where I was going to in the first place – can’t do them all at once anymore. Have to let go of at least one task. Can’t believe it. Things used to run so smoothly and automatically.

So where will I get new tools?

Hm. Might have to throw a few things together myself. Think up work-arounds. Clean the kitchen left-handed in stead of right-handed. Try not to think of the day that my left hand…no. Write with another pen. Lean against the mirror when I’m putting on mascara. Smile a little over-smiley when I am talking to someone. Cover the touchpad of my laptop as my hand constantly falls on it. Don’t want to skip between apps all the time. Unintendedly. Or send a mail that wasn’t exactly ready to go. I can still turn over in bed quite okay-is. In fact, I can still do most things. Sort of okay-is. I must admit that I use my self invented tools more often though. Can’t do without.

I have to re-invent myself and while I am at it, re-invent some tools as well. As in: really re-invent as Parkinson’s takes away your tools, including your most favourite ones. Would that make me more creative? I mean, will the healthy part of my brain compensate for the degeneration in those tiny deep brain cells? My healthy grey cells work overtime to compensate for what I lost. I have no other choice than to become more creative. If only because I will not lower my bar, with or without those lovely automated tools.

Now there’s something I will not lose. Setting my bar as high as ever. In that way, I will always be the same, no matter how many of my good old tools I have had to let go of.

If you won’t lower the bar, you will have to be prepared to create new tools. And you might as well get used to them. Love them even. Like you loved those old worn out tools.

 

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